I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
