when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
