and you said cock pushups were impossible
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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