and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
