and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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