i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
