Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
