I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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