The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
