It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
