you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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