white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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