Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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