you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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