I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
