nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Why can't burritos get me drunk
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
