we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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