Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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