My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
