Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
