AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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