a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
