the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
