Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I touched a dick in church today
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
