no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Less talking, more tequila
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
