And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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