All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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