is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize