I wish I only lived at night.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize