My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
