the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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