I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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