Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
