Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
