so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Still dying that you shit outside
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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