The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
