so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
please don't ironically join a cult
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