I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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