I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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