She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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