Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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