You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize