I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
