I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
