I am midnight drunk by noon
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
