Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
