I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
