you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
