Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
