im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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