How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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