I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
