one two three fourrrrnication!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize