Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
