he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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