It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
